Asking too much...

Am I asking too much to have a relationship with you? Am I asking too much that certain people don't get in the way of that relationship? All I want is what we had when were younger...hanging out and not letting anyone or anything come between us. I miss you and just want you to know that I care. Even though I don't verbally ask you how things are I do care. My way of showing support is by calling and just talking to you. I don't want to pry. I figured that if you really wanted to talk about it you would. I just want you in my life.  I understand that you are going through something at the moment and it's rough, but please don't back away from the people that care about you the most. I am always going to be there no matter what. I don't know how else to say it, but I am scared that I will not talk to you or see you for a long time and I just wanted to let you know how that makes me feel.  We aggravate each other...we are cut from the same cloth, so that is to be expected. We share the same DNA, we know what buttons to push to bring the other to their knees. But again, I thought I was being supportive of you and your situation, even though I didn't verbally ask about it. I thought talking about the positives in your life was showing interest, support. I am not physic so I didn't know you needed more. If you need me to ask then I will, but there are a few things I need from you...be stronger than you think you are, be the bitch I know you can be when something isn't going the way you want it to, be the person that our mother raised you to be and stand up for yourself.  Don't let anyone tell you what to do. We have Mamie Davis blood running through us, and from what I know she didn't put up with bullshit, so stop taking the shit that is handed to you and handle your business. Give people the side eye when they question your judgement, give people the boot in your life that don't support you, say "hell to the NO," when you aren't getting what you want and really want it.  Be a fire in spite of all the rain that is hanging over your head right now. Is that too much to ask?  WE am not going anywhere, when you are ready to talk and let me in, I can sit and listen, but I will not pry like I said before.  Handle your business and don't let anyone tell you that you CAN'T do something or see/speak to anyone that has been in your life longer than they have. This is an open letter/invitation to talk and I will listen.  

Closeted Obsessive Christmas Decorator...

I decorated my house on Veteran's Day...now let me throw out a disclaimer: I have had all my purchased Christmas gifts in our office in the corner of the room since summer. My husband said one day prior to Veteran's Day, "do you want to put up the decorations?" I hesitated in my answer because I was unsure of what he was asking me. In my moments hesitation I lost my chance to decorate.  So, lesson learned.  Now Veteran's Day rolls around..."want me to get the decorations down from the attic?" With no hesitation I SAY YES!!! he had no chance to back out on this now.  It took me less then an hour to have two tress up and decorated, Christmas music playing in the house, candles burning and a bit of Christmas in every room of the house. Yes, even the bathroom has decorations.  Don't judge. I hide behind my emotions that Christmas season starts after turkey day, but this year and I judge people, especially my twin for decorating in October. Its like you say you don't like Brittany Spears to all your friends but then when you are alone in your car and a song comes on you are singing at the top of your lungs, saying "This is my JAM!!"  Its like that with me and Christmas decorating... I say I don't condone it before turkey day, but in my heart of hearts I wish I could leave them up all year long. I had all my gifts wrapped and under the tree that evening. Now, to be honest, I think I was sending subliminal messages to my husband starting in October, with me listening to Christmas music in the office while I did my homework, watching Elf and Christmas Vacation when he would come home from work...not that I was trying to trick him, but it worked!  But he did agree that its nice to have all the shopping done and now we just enjoy the holiday season and we don't have to stress about shopping and dealing with people that seemed to have lost the meaning of the holiday.

So with that being said: " I am a COCD...and I am taking the steps to get better, but really do I need help?"

Be kind today.