Above Ground

There are many things that repulse me in this world... I detest people at claim to have no knowledge of something that indeed they were privy to about six months ago. I am repulsed by people that will smile in your face and then say nothing in your defense when the time comes to supposedly "help" you out. People that claim to have your back and then back away from you and don't even reach out to see how you are doing. I can't stand people that claim ignorance when in fact they are just choosing to be blind to what is standing in front of them. I am annoyed with people that are negative and they keep creeping back into my life with the drama I let go of a year ago. I am pissed that I let these people annoy me and disgusted with myself, that I don't just tell them to FUCK OFF and stay out of my life. I need the voice of my mother to keep me from wishing ill will upon people that are bad people, because though I may not be a religious person, I do believe in Karma and its a bitch what her sister Joy can dish out when she is on vacation. I need the voice of my husband to tell me that we will fight harder than ever to make everything ok. I need the voice of my father to tell to relax and everything will work out, and he will do his CIA thing that he is so good at doing.  I am repulsed at the way so many people just allow the people that are supposed to lead them ignore that fact that they don't have a clue what they are talking about. I understand self preservation, but when are you going to stop being a lemming and drinking the kool-aid? I have had peace in my heart for several months and have been doing well in spite of all that is on my plate right now, but today, I went to a dark place and was unsure how to get out without the calming words of the three people mentioned above. Without the words of encouragement that everything will work out, I would be huddled under the covers of my bed, not wanting to be apart of this wonderful world. I would spiral into a hole so deep that it would be hard to dig my way out. So my repulsion lies mainly in people that claim to be good people but overall are jerks and assholes that you really want to punch in the face. I am not a violent person but I went there today in my thoughts, and I am sadden by that. I thought I was over the anger, but it swelled up inside of me and took over for about an hour or so. I didn't go into the hole...I stayed above ground and will remain there even with the people that repulse me. I just will choose to walk around them and not acknowledge their existence. Karma and Joy will take care of them for me.

Be Kind today...and have a beer or two!