Parents are LIARS...

I am 33 years old and to over the years I have learned that PARENTS LIE....and they lie often to their children. Parents naturally want to protect their children, and I get that. But when you watch shows like American Idol, and the really, really bad singers go on there and try to get a on the show, you have to wonder why did their parents lie to them?  If a child isn't good at something it should be the duty of the parent to say, "you know what this might not be your talent, but we will find it in something else." They should be honest with their child to protect them from being told on national tv that they are tone deaf and have no actual talent. (I also blame close friends and family members as well for lying too as to not hurt the person's feelings.) Honesty is the best policy, isn't that what most parents teach their children, but yet they lie constantly to them...Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. Really people, I figured these out well before I am sure my parents hoped for. I am sure they wanted to have children that would believe in these LIES for much longer than about 6 years old.  Here are a few reasons I know my parents are liars and I am sure yours are too:

The White Horse: Setting: England, age five and my parents had the great idea that almost every weekend we would do something cultural. I love this about my parents, they exposed us to many wonderful things while we lived abroad and even back in the states. But let's get back to this lie that I wrote several school and even college essays about.  My parents told the four of us girls that we would be going to see a "white horse" over the weekend. Now that is all they said...my older sisters are 5 and ten years older than me and the twin so saying "white horse" meant something different to the two five year old. So the weekend comes and we pile into the car and drive in the rain several hours outside of Greenham Common where we lived. We get to a beautiful pasture and eat lunch in the back of the car. Mind you in my five year old mind I can't wait to see this white horse running around! We all walk to a ledge at the end of this pasture and it is roped off so you only can look out into the pasture below. So where is this "white horse" they promised me? Well, in the middle of this pasture, there is a mound and in the center of the mound is a "white horse"...made out of white rock. Yep...ROCKS! Devastation sets in and this everyone is the lie that stuck with me, even to this day I will bring it up to my parents and they just laugh! It was the representation of where St. George slew the dragon and since he is depicted riding a white horse, the Brits decided to make a white horse to commemorate the event. First example of something that needs to be explained to a five year old.


Santa: Setting: Nebraska, age 6. My parents always liked to make Christmas an all day event. Everyone had to eat breakfast, and then we could come downstairs to open gifts. We would open our stockings and then one of the older sisters would start handing out gifts. Here is the thing though... we would only open half of our gifts in the morning and then head upstairs to have lunch/supper and then return for the rest of the presents. They were big on suspense I guess. Well, here is the thing, we never put out cookies and milk for Santa...it was always cookies and WINE. Yes ladies and gentlemen, WINE. Things started getting interesting in Nebraska when I woke up on Christmas eve to go to the restroom- My room was right across from my parents and it was easier to just use their bathroom than walk down the hall...The door was closed partially, so I pushed it open. In my sleepy haze I see my parents standing on either side of the bed wrapping gifts! WHAT?? I thought Santa brought everything to us. What the hell is going on here. I asked them and they panicked and said nothing and just rushed me out of the room. The next morning it all made sense...as we started to unwrap presents my older sister noticed that my twin got a Calligraphy set that she had asked for and she got underwear that was meant for a six year old in her stocking. There were several mix-ups that Christmas, but my parents played it off as "well the elves must have mixed things up and Santa didn't notice." Nice try! After that I was suspicious and just gave up on the whole Santa idea, since I caught them in the act and it was evident that "SANTA" aka my parents drank a little too much the night before and got the gifts mixed up for us girls. My parents stopped saying things were from Santa pretty much after that. Now my mom doesn't even bother to wrap gifts she let's me pick which PJ set I want, along with what ever else she bought for Christmas. My father just gets us gift cards or writes us a check...no middle man now.

My parents are wonderful, but they lied to me. I don't love them any less, but they are two of the funniest people I know and the lies they told me, amuse me to this day. They laugh and just try to say I am remembering it wrong, but they know the truth!

So the moral of the story is, if you as parents are going to tell your children that honesty is the best policy, then lead by example. Don't tell them that a fat man comes down the chimney and drops off gifts, don't tell them a bunny lays eggs all over the yard- mind you eggs filled with candy and for gods sake if you accidentally leave a 20 dollar bill under their pillow instead of a quarter for a tooth, don't lie to them and say the tooth fairy has bad eye sight and couldn't see in the dark.  If you child tries activities that it is pretty evident that they are not good at, encourage them to look for their true talent, instead of telling them they are good at something that its apparent they will never excel, even with training- just be honest! Don't be liars like my parents were to me. I knew at an early age I was uncoordinated and tap and ballet were not for me and my parents even though they said keep at it, I knew they were lying. Its ok, I found my other talents, in playing the flute, school, crafts, etc. and I am a better person even though they lied!

I really do love my parents, promise.

Be kind today.