High School

After 15 years of being out of high school one thing is clear.... my friends have not given up on me.  There have been new additions to their families, anniversaries of marriages, etc. I have been playing checkup to a lot of that. I have just in the last few months gotten married to my best friend and supporter and talk of a little mini us is in the works. I have been focused on getting my life in order in terms of my career and relationships and that has been a long road for me. My husband has been there for the good, the bad and the oh so ugly and I appreciate him more than anything in the world for being my rock. He has constantly reminded me that I can not push people away that truly care about me. My family is a given, they will always be there for me... remember I told my parents they have to live for another 80 years! He will be with me no matter what and again I thank him constantly for that. But back to my original thought... those girls that are now mommies to little ones have always also supported me through these last 15 years. We have grown up together and we have transformed into strong, beautiful women. I know that when my issues are hard to handle for myself, it effects how I interact with the people around me. I have essentially come clean about my distance with my two closest friends about my reason for being absent in their lives...I am scared that I am not the same person I was last time we saw each other. I am scared that our lives are different and I won't be able to relate to what is going on in their lives. But then it dawned on me...of course I am not the same person. I will not be able to relate to motherhood, because it hasn't happened to me yet, but I can still relate to being the same friend I have been for 15 years to them. They can still relate to me as well. They know my struggles and they accept me. I love that I am able to tell them what is going on with me and they do not judge, they just say to me..."i understand." and "we can make it work." That is all I need to know that we are in essence the same as we were when we were younger. We worked through things when we were younger and we will work through things now. I wish I lived closer so that I could see them more often. We have to plan way in advance to meet up, and I have to remember they have little ones that might have to come along for the ride...which is fine, I can get some practice in for when I become a mommy.  I know that I have changed for the better and am in a better place then I was a year ago, but I still have my moments. I work through them and know that no matter what the girl that has a beautiful voice, that I never heard sing till the day of our friends wedding and the other girl that walked onto the field with me before the buzzer at our first band competition are still going to be there for me no matter what. I love looking back on those funny moments and know that even though we are no longer in high school, I still have those two ladies to call my friends!

Be kind today.