Restraint

I talked about people being afraid of what is different yesterday, and today I saw it first hand sitting in the vet's office. Again, I have been wearing a tichel (head covering-eventually you will see the word and know what I mean.) since late October of last year. I live in a city that has a rather large community that cover for religious reasons, or whatever reason they have. So, again for me it is not something that I find strange or different. I also sure as hell don't stare at someone who is covered. I am more likely to comment how beautiful their covering is, or ask the doctor how he gets his pleats so perfect! I guess growing up in the military and being around so many types of people, gave me an appreciation for people and cultures that were different from me and my family.

I went with no makeup today, as I woke up with a slight headache and just didn't feel the need to today. But I pulled on my purple "unicorns are my spirit animal" t-shirt, light black cardigan, jeans and my trusty converse. I pulled out my purple tichels (a pretty sparkly one I received a week ago from a another wrapper.) and did a basic regal wrap and added a black satin ribbon and then a felt flower clip I had made years ago- it also had a shade of purple on it. So I thought I looked pretty good, for not feeling 100%. Off to the vet we go...

Dog gets her shots, bloodwork, a dosage prescription for allergies and so on. (Yes, I am the one that has a dog with seasonal allergies, go figure.) As my husband and I are waiting for the bloodwork, a vet tech comes from the back and stands right in front of me and just stares at me. Now, I know I didn't have anything hanging out of my nose, or anything in my teeth, since I didn't smile at her...so what could she be looking at with such interest? She would look away, and then turn right back to me and stare harder at me and then at my husband and then back to me. I caught her several times doing this. Finally, I just looked at my husband and said I am going to take the dog to the car. As I got the dog in the car, it all just flooded over me...she was looking at me because I was different. I had something on my head that she didn't understand and why I was wearing. It wasn't a look of curiosity, it was a look of almost disdain for what I was wearing on my head. I haven't felt so upset over being the different looking person in so long, that this bothered me to the point that I had to leave the situation.

Alright, so here is the real reason I left the office...I left because this little woman was looking at me unwelcoming and two, I have a tendency to say things out loud that are not appropriate.  I am not perfect and never claim to be, I am constantly evolving. I tend to just speak before my brain can catch up with my words. If I would have stayed in that office one minute longer, I would have asked her if she wanted to ask me something since she was looking at me so hard. "Do you want to take a picture so you can continue to stare after I leave?" or worse, I would have more than likely cursed at her.  It took so much restraint not to do any of these things. I have come a long way-trust me on this. I have a low tolerance for people and their ignorance. With that being said, I took a moment and just walked away...a higher power pulled me away from the situation and gave me the restraint I needed to not say anything to this woman. My mouth was shut and my eyes were open to my surroundings and I knew that I did not need to be there any longer.

It takes a lot of restraint to be the bigger person when it comes to ignorance and hatred. I stepped up to the challenge this morning. This woman had several things working against her in the situation: I hadn't had breakfast-so I was Hangry, I had a slight headache-so I was grumpy, and I wanted coffee-so I could have attacked at any moment. I took the higher ground and walked out with the sun hitting my shimmery tichel and a happy dog wagging her little bobbed tail!

Just be kind...