What do all these letters mean to you? Probably nothing. They mean more than just a huge amount a student loans I have racked up over the course of ten years, they mean sacrifice. Now you may be wondering what I mean by that, well here is my best explanation.
I am the descendent of slaves on my mother's side. If, I have all my number of "greats" correct, that would make my sisters and myself, the great, great, great granddaughters of a slave. That may shock some, based on my appearance, light skinned, straight nose, blue eyes and curly hair...yeah, it gets people all the time. I do however identify as a black woman of mixed heritage, multiracial if you like. (Please don't use the term mixed, I was not blended together like a bucket of paint at Lowes.)
When I state that these letters, that I could place behind my name mean sacrifice to me, I mean that in the true sense of the word. Webster's Dictionary defines sacrifice as: the act of giving up something that you want to keep especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone.
Now, how does this definition correlate to my degrees? Let's break it down; my great grandmother x3 was a slave, she did what she had to for survival. IF that meant having children without her consent because her master wanted to bed her, then so be it. I come from a long line of what many southerners would call "high yellow" woman. Meaning my great grandmother x 3 would have more than likely been a house slave. She would have been in direct contact with the plantation owners family. Which ultimately means, she was in direct contact with the master that could do anything he wanted to her and she had no say. She gave up, what today we would consider a basic human right of consent, to better the lives of her children.
My mother's side of the family, comes from strong women as you can tell from the narrative above. Fast forward to my great grandmother, Ms. Mamie Davis. She apparently is the woman that all our female descendants get their "I will eat you up and spit you out," mentality from. According to my mother, who happens to be named after her grandmother, Mamie Davis was not a woman you wanted to cross. This is no coincidence that all the women in our family, have a fiery part so deep in us, but if crossed, it will appear in a matter of seconds. We are all fierce at protecting those closest to us and refuse to let anyone walk over us. Just like the women before her she was not awarded the gift, the chance of a free, and most importantly equal education in this country. Mamie Davis could read and write, but the writing she was not that great at. My eldest aunt wrote for her most of the time. The pattern of how important an education was started early in this bloodline.
By the time my grandmother had children, she had instilled in them the importance of an education. She knew that it was their way to have a better life. She had only completed the 8th grade and taught my grandfather how to read and write. She was sending her children to segregated schools, even though by the time all my aunts and uncles were born, Brown v the Board of Education had already passed through the Supreme Court, essentially stating that the Plessy v Ferguson verdict of "separate but equal" did not apply to government/public entities. Even with this as a hurdle, my mother and her brothers and sisters were taught that education was important. My grandmother may have only had an 8th grade education, but she did not allow any of her children to stop their education. She would work as hard as she could, so that they did not have to quit school, to get a job.
My mother, entered the Air Force at age 18 and got her college education and Master's thanks to our military. She worked full time, took care of a family and still got her degrees. This and the stories above are the examples I and my sisters had when it came education and how to take care of yourself. We were told we can be anything we wanted to be with an education. We were not allowed to have jobs while in high school, learning was our job. We were students first and foremost. My sisters and I have all taken different paths when it comes to education. I am the one that just can't seem to get enough of it, I am and will always be the student in the family.
I worked three jobs, while taking roughly 18-20 hour course load in college during my undergrad. I worked full time and got my Master's Degree in Education. I worked full time and got my Certification to Teach with a Middle School Endorsement. I will be finished with my Specialist in Curriculum this December. I start my Doctorate in Education in January. I do not say this to boost my ego, or to brag. I say these things and am proud of my accomplishments, simply for the fact that the women I mentioned above sacrificed so much in order for me to have the opportunity to be able to get these degrees. In my first education class, we had to write a paper on who we were getting our degree for...I said "any and all degrees I get will be in honor of my great, great, great grandmother who was a slave and sacrificed so much for me to be here." I now must revise that statement and say any and all degrees I get will be in honor of ALL the women in my family.
Be Kind.
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
Sunday, August 21, 2016
What is a Feminist?
On my drive over the weekend I started to think about what it is my definition of a feminist and why do I call myself on. So many people have different reason for calling themselves a feminist, and I am not going to discredit anyone's opinion of the definition. How one person views the world is not going to be the same that another views it. (We are humans, we disagree on things by nature.)
I cover my hair exclusively when I leave the house. It is something that I have done for almost a year this coming October. This was a choice that I made for myself. Many religious text discuss head covering and modesty for women as a way to honor their higher power and respect for themselves. This is not an issue over covering up as to not distract men's attention to you, it is about honoring the higher power you observe as the QUEEN you are. As a woman, you are not a distraction, but our society likes to make women in general feel as though they are a distraction for men. Not going to lie, I think a man would be just as distracted by a woman that is completely covered as he would be by a woman that is standing naked. (Just a varying degree of distraction, but you get the point.)
Alright, so back to my point...sorry I ramble sometimes. So feminism for me. Being a feminist means CHOICE. As a woman I have the choice to cover my hair for any reason I choose. It is not oppressive for a woman to choose to cover to follow the tenants of their faith, it is a powerful statement, saying I have the freedom to choose my religious path and practices. There are very traditional woman of many religions that choose not to cover, if that is something that their religion discusses as a follower of the faith. What is oppressive is when a woman looses that choice. When a woman is forced to cover no matter what, when fear overtakes them because they are unsure of what could happen if they do not. The power, the choice to cover for religious, health, fashion or any reason (and this goes for modest dressing as well,) is feminism to me.
The choice to choose whether I want to be educated. I have chosen to continue my education FOREVER, it seems. I have that choice. I had the option of doing what I wanted when I was finished with high school. It is up to me to decide what I do with my professional/academic career. That is a power/choice I have as a woman. That is feminism to me.
I do not need the Senate and the House deciding how things should be handled in my uterus. It's my uterus, and I'd like to keep that business between me and my doctor, thanks. Please do not tell me that there is no such thing as "legitimate rape," and that if it was really "rape" then a woman's body has a way of "preventing an unwanted pregnancy." Again, you are a man, you don't have a uterus, and you don't have the right to decide what is and isn't rape. If a woman says NO at any point in a sexual encounter and the person doesn't stop, Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's rape. Preventing a woman from having an abortion due to rape or incest, is again a man choosing how things should be handled in my uterus. You don't get to choose if a woman carries the child of her rapist. That choice is hers and hers alone. The choice to end a pregnancy for risk to the mother for medical reasons, pregnancy due to rape or incest, that is a choice that women should have access too and they should be not scared into thinking they do not have that choice. Having the choice to choose what happens with my reproductive rights is feminism to me.
I could go on and on about what else feminism means to me. But it boils down to CHOICE. Feminism is choice for me.
Be kind. (I am a little sleep deprived so-if this doesn't make sense, I apologize in advance.)
I cover my hair exclusively when I leave the house. It is something that I have done for almost a year this coming October. This was a choice that I made for myself. Many religious text discuss head covering and modesty for women as a way to honor their higher power and respect for themselves. This is not an issue over covering up as to not distract men's attention to you, it is about honoring the higher power you observe as the QUEEN you are. As a woman, you are not a distraction, but our society likes to make women in general feel as though they are a distraction for men. Not going to lie, I think a man would be just as distracted by a woman that is completely covered as he would be by a woman that is standing naked. (Just a varying degree of distraction, but you get the point.)
Alright, so back to my point...sorry I ramble sometimes. So feminism for me. Being a feminist means CHOICE. As a woman I have the choice to cover my hair for any reason I choose. It is not oppressive for a woman to choose to cover to follow the tenants of their faith, it is a powerful statement, saying I have the freedom to choose my religious path and practices. There are very traditional woman of many religions that choose not to cover, if that is something that their religion discusses as a follower of the faith. What is oppressive is when a woman looses that choice. When a woman is forced to cover no matter what, when fear overtakes them because they are unsure of what could happen if they do not. The power, the choice to cover for religious, health, fashion or any reason (and this goes for modest dressing as well,) is feminism to me.
The choice to choose whether I want to be educated. I have chosen to continue my education FOREVER, it seems. I have that choice. I had the option of doing what I wanted when I was finished with high school. It is up to me to decide what I do with my professional/academic career. That is a power/choice I have as a woman. That is feminism to me.
I do not need the Senate and the House deciding how things should be handled in my uterus. It's my uterus, and I'd like to keep that business between me and my doctor, thanks. Please do not tell me that there is no such thing as "legitimate rape," and that if it was really "rape" then a woman's body has a way of "preventing an unwanted pregnancy." Again, you are a man, you don't have a uterus, and you don't have the right to decide what is and isn't rape. If a woman says NO at any point in a sexual encounter and the person doesn't stop, Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's rape. Preventing a woman from having an abortion due to rape or incest, is again a man choosing how things should be handled in my uterus. You don't get to choose if a woman carries the child of her rapist. That choice is hers and hers alone. The choice to end a pregnancy for risk to the mother for medical reasons, pregnancy due to rape or incest, that is a choice that women should have access too and they should be not scared into thinking they do not have that choice. Having the choice to choose what happens with my reproductive rights is feminism to me.
I could go on and on about what else feminism means to me. But it boils down to CHOICE. Feminism is choice for me.
Be kind. (I am a little sleep deprived so-if this doesn't make sense, I apologize in advance.)
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
It costs a lot to be a woman...
Alright...I love being a woman. I love the contrast between hard and soft that we as woman have the ability to be at any given time. We are the carriers of life, we nurture, love, hope and love even more when nothing else will do. We are often called the "weaker" of the two sexes...but I beg to differ.
The stories my mother speaks to me about the trails the women in our family went through, they strength they HAD to have to stay alive, and the fact that I am here today proves to me that women are indeed NOT the "weaker" of the two sexes. But let's get real here for a moment...it is hard sometimes being a woman, isn't it?
I was watching a commercial for a razor blade, you know the one where the cute blonde wakes up to a text from her boyfriend, saying, "on my way, bringing mom with me!" Of course she looks like she spent a long night out partying at the bars, her place is a mess and yes, let us not forget, her legs are HAIRY! EEKKK!!! As this cute little blonde runs around cleaning, the razor is a lifesaver, because all you have to do is run it under the water once and then you can "shave on the go." Really? Who does that? Ok, so back to this commercial, she is running around stretching her legs to push things under the bed, in the dishwasher, all while shaving her legs!!! Yes, ladies, you CAN do housework and have silky smooth legs at the same time! YEAH! Just in time the doorbell rings, she was able to put on an adorable SHORT skirt and is ready to meet mom. Now come on...just show me the razor. I don't need the back story as to why she HAS to shave her legs. And again, let's get real here, why did the advertisers decide that the young woman had to be wearing a short little dress when meeting mom? Oh, no wait, it was to show off the fact that she could clean the apartment and shave at the same time; which makes her perfect marriage material...is that right? Moving on.
I am 34 years old, and guess what I love every single WRINKLE on my face! No really, I do. The laugh lines, those things they call "crows feet" (I don't get it, but whatever.) the lines in my forehead, you pick the wrinkle I love it. Why? Well, the laugh lines, that to me says "you have laughed long and hard at things and people that you love and cherish in your life and you are proud of them." Those bird feet thingys- they say to me- "I read and squinted enough to get those (hold on counting mentally in my head, ok) 2 degrees, teaching certificate, an endorsement and soon to be a Specialist Degree and then my Doctorate." I worked hard for those feet, I show them proudly! Those lines in my forehead- those are good ones, "I have thought long and hard about decisions that will impact my life for the better and I know that the sacrifice will be worth it in the end." I don't buy anti-aging anything. I see a wrinkle I say hello, welcome to the wonderful world I call my face and my life, enjoy. Why is it that there are all these commercials for products for women to "prevent those fine lines of aging..." and other irritating lines; but I have yet to see one damn product for the aging male and his wrinkled up face. Why is it that as a man gets older he becomes "distinguished," but a woman must strive to be "young" for as long as possible? Anyone see a problem with this mentality. What are we saying to our young women?
Let's talk about something that a lot of people don't like to talk about...it's personal and in many cultures taboo. Young women will miss long periods of schooling due to the fact that they have their period. They are disadvantaged, because of something that is a natural part of a woman's life cycle. Now here, in this lovely country, something thought it would be great to put a tax on tampons ...why? It's not harsh enough that we are in pain and for lack of better terms leaking for up to seven days for a good 20-30 years, you have to go and place a special tax on these items. And you know it was NOT a woman that came up with that tax, it was a man. There is also something else that is a little touching in the reproductive area that makes it hard to be a woman, the cost of birth control. Now I know that many religions and cultures do not believe that any type of birth control should be used, and that is fine. But there are millions of women that do choose to use birth control and in some cases, their employers' insurance company won't cover the cost of it? But yet the insurance will cover the "little blue pill" for mister fancy pants. On what planet does that make sense. You will not help a women to prevent pregnancy in a mature fashion, because she may not be ready to have children yet, or doesn't want children at all, but you will allow a man to partake in sexual activity for multiple hours...um, for me that logic is a little flawed. Oh and I won't even talk about Roe v. Wade...when it comes to my uterus, if you are male, please stop making legislation telling me what I can and can't do with it. Thanks.
And lastly, hair. This one is near and dear to me. I have been covering my hair with my beautiful tichels for almost a year now, and I have never felt more power and beauty within myself, being my true authentic self. I have curly, I mean curly hair...and I love it so much, but I was identified as the "girl with the curly hair." Once I started covering, I noticed that people paid more attention to want was coming out of my mouth than my physical appearance. Don't get me wrong, people comment on the tichels and notice them just as much as my hair, but they are not as fixated on the covering as they would be if my hair was down. Woman in this country and all over the world spend millions of dollars on hair care products, because our society likes to bombard us with advertisements that say, "if you want to be beautiful and catch the eye of the handsome man, your hair has to be a certain way." Beckoning back to the self images we are projecting onto young woman and how they are impacted negatively with ads like these. It is a personal choice to cover ones hair, as it is to conform to society. But you have to live with your choices, so choose wisely.
So, how much does it really cost to be a woman? To be honest with you I have no idea. For me it is priceless, because I have found my authentic self and know who I am as a person. I am not someone who conforms or is compartmentalized into any set little box. Never have been, never will be. I am a woman that is constantly evolving into a better version of myself everyday. So, the cost for me to be a woman can not be counted in a dollar amount. I hope you too will see that your self worth is more than what society says you should be or do to be a woman. Be you and be kind to yourself if you don't fit the "mold."
Be Kind.
The stories my mother speaks to me about the trails the women in our family went through, they strength they HAD to have to stay alive, and the fact that I am here today proves to me that women are indeed NOT the "weaker" of the two sexes. But let's get real here for a moment...it is hard sometimes being a woman, isn't it?
I was watching a commercial for a razor blade, you know the one where the cute blonde wakes up to a text from her boyfriend, saying, "on my way, bringing mom with me!" Of course she looks like she spent a long night out partying at the bars, her place is a mess and yes, let us not forget, her legs are HAIRY! EEKKK!!! As this cute little blonde runs around cleaning, the razor is a lifesaver, because all you have to do is run it under the water once and then you can "shave on the go." Really? Who does that? Ok, so back to this commercial, she is running around stretching her legs to push things under the bed, in the dishwasher, all while shaving her legs!!! Yes, ladies, you CAN do housework and have silky smooth legs at the same time! YEAH! Just in time the doorbell rings, she was able to put on an adorable SHORT skirt and is ready to meet mom. Now come on...just show me the razor. I don't need the back story as to why she HAS to shave her legs. And again, let's get real here, why did the advertisers decide that the young woman had to be wearing a short little dress when meeting mom? Oh, no wait, it was to show off the fact that she could clean the apartment and shave at the same time; which makes her perfect marriage material...is that right? Moving on.
I am 34 years old, and guess what I love every single WRINKLE on my face! No really, I do. The laugh lines, those things they call "crows feet" (I don't get it, but whatever.) the lines in my forehead, you pick the wrinkle I love it. Why? Well, the laugh lines, that to me says "you have laughed long and hard at things and people that you love and cherish in your life and you are proud of them." Those bird feet thingys- they say to me- "I read and squinted enough to get those (hold on counting mentally in my head, ok) 2 degrees, teaching certificate, an endorsement and soon to be a Specialist Degree and then my Doctorate." I worked hard for those feet, I show them proudly! Those lines in my forehead- those are good ones, "I have thought long and hard about decisions that will impact my life for the better and I know that the sacrifice will be worth it in the end." I don't buy anti-aging anything. I see a wrinkle I say hello, welcome to the wonderful world I call my face and my life, enjoy. Why is it that there are all these commercials for products for women to "prevent those fine lines of aging..." and other irritating lines; but I have yet to see one damn product for the aging male and his wrinkled up face. Why is it that as a man gets older he becomes "distinguished," but a woman must strive to be "young" for as long as possible? Anyone see a problem with this mentality. What are we saying to our young women?
Let's talk about something that a lot of people don't like to talk about...it's personal and in many cultures taboo. Young women will miss long periods of schooling due to the fact that they have their period. They are disadvantaged, because of something that is a natural part of a woman's life cycle. Now here, in this lovely country, something thought it would be great to put a tax on tampons ...why? It's not harsh enough that we are in pain and for lack of better terms leaking for up to seven days for a good 20-30 years, you have to go and place a special tax on these items. And you know it was NOT a woman that came up with that tax, it was a man. There is also something else that is a little touching in the reproductive area that makes it hard to be a woman, the cost of birth control. Now I know that many religions and cultures do not believe that any type of birth control should be used, and that is fine. But there are millions of women that do choose to use birth control and in some cases, their employers' insurance company won't cover the cost of it? But yet the insurance will cover the "little blue pill" for mister fancy pants. On what planet does that make sense. You will not help a women to prevent pregnancy in a mature fashion, because she may not be ready to have children yet, or doesn't want children at all, but you will allow a man to partake in sexual activity for multiple hours...um, for me that logic is a little flawed. Oh and I won't even talk about Roe v. Wade...when it comes to my uterus, if you are male, please stop making legislation telling me what I can and can't do with it. Thanks.
And lastly, hair. This one is near and dear to me. I have been covering my hair with my beautiful tichels for almost a year now, and I have never felt more power and beauty within myself, being my true authentic self. I have curly, I mean curly hair...and I love it so much, but I was identified as the "girl with the curly hair." Once I started covering, I noticed that people paid more attention to want was coming out of my mouth than my physical appearance. Don't get me wrong, people comment on the tichels and notice them just as much as my hair, but they are not as fixated on the covering as they would be if my hair was down. Woman in this country and all over the world spend millions of dollars on hair care products, because our society likes to bombard us with advertisements that say, "if you want to be beautiful and catch the eye of the handsome man, your hair has to be a certain way." Beckoning back to the self images we are projecting onto young woman and how they are impacted negatively with ads like these. It is a personal choice to cover ones hair, as it is to conform to society. But you have to live with your choices, so choose wisely.
So, how much does it really cost to be a woman? To be honest with you I have no idea. For me it is priceless, because I have found my authentic self and know who I am as a person. I am not someone who conforms or is compartmentalized into any set little box. Never have been, never will be. I am a woman that is constantly evolving into a better version of myself everyday. So, the cost for me to be a woman can not be counted in a dollar amount. I hope you too will see that your self worth is more than what society says you should be or do to be a woman. Be you and be kind to yourself if you don't fit the "mold."
Be Kind.
Monday, July 18, 2016
I hate discussing politics, here's why?
Read this disclaimer before you continue on: If you are offended by profanity, my opinions about politics and well life in general, you might not want to read any more. These are my personal opinions about politics and if you can't be civilized when it comes to talking about it, please just de-friend me now. I don't offend easily, so don't worry, if you are going to not be friends because our views are different, I probably won't miss you anyway. Also, please no comments about this post; basically, don't come for me in regards to politics. You have your opinions and I have mine. I do not have to read and or agree with yours and you the same with mine. Opinions are like ass-holes: everyone has one.
Here are just a few reasons I hate will not discuss politics with ANYONE:
1. People are set in their ways. I am not going to change your mind. You might bring up a good point about your bigoted candidate and yes, I will listen to your thoughts, but I am not going to even give it a second thought. I am not going to waste my time trying to tell you that this particular person is a serious threat to this country in so many ways. That's time I can spend doing something more important, like punching a wall.
2. I am not going to get into a pissing match about how horrible our current president is and what a bad job he has done in the last eight years. Guess what people...if you are given a bag full of shit to deal with, you deal with the bag full of shit as best you can and go from there. President Obama has done nothing but try his best to make this country stronger and better for everyone here. He has offered many people the opportunity to have affordable healthcare, and yes people, that is a socialist ideal: everyone having access to basic things, i.e. like health care, but that doesn't mean that he is a bad, bad man. If you think universal healthcare is bad, then you must also think that the programs that FDR put into place during WWII also place him in the bad, bad man category. Let it go already. Without "Obama Care" I wouldn't have access to the doctor's I need to manage to keep me from punching someone in the face, I also wouldn't have access to medicine that would also prevent me from doing the punching. See, he did good there!
3. If one more person brings up those damn emails!!!
4. If you are willing to vote for a man that has been able to insult pretty much all minorities/marginalized people in this country, then you are part of the problem, not the solution to "Make America Great, Again." Degrading people that have disabilities, calling people rapists, demonizing people for peacefully demonstrating at your rallies, (which, FYI, they have a constitutional right to do,) Provoking and in-sighting violence to your followers if you don't get your way...I can't even begin to have a coherent conversation with you.
5. Media people, stop poking the mother-fucking bear already! If you keep doing news stories about this man and the nonsense that he spits out of his mouth you are only giving him what he wants.
6. I just can't handle people trying to actually defend a man that is full of hate. Making America Great, starts with not being hateful towards others. Do you really think this presumptive candidate is going to improve race relations in this country? Honestly, do you really think this douche is going to make minorities feel safe and not like second class citizens? Come on, you know he wouldn't and couldn't do it, and there in lies the problem- you know he can't do it, but yet you are willing to vote for him. What does that say about your own opinion of minorities in this country, if you are willing to vote for a man that couldn't help to ease the racial turmoil (even just a tiny bit)? If you want to have a discussion about race, let's do it. IF you are expecting it not be uncomfortable, then get over yourself and deal with it. Race is a hard topic to talk about, because it is something that people of color deal with everyday of their lives. IF you don't see a problem in this country regarding race, open your damn eyes and look around you. You can cut the tension in the air with a knife.
7. A woman as president...what are you afraid of? That she will get hormonal and just go off on everyone? Are you afraid that she won't be able to handle the pressures of the job, because women are delicate flowers and only men can talk politics? Shit, I can talk circles around people about what this woman is capable of doing to actually make this country better. She has a track record...yeah remember her husband-he was president, oh and she is an attorney-she knows the laws and yeah that one big thing...she was the MFing Secretary of State and spent a vast majority of her time in that position learning and creating relationships with countries.
8. I said don't bring up those damn emails!!!
9. Come on...THE FIRST MAN ever in office- that alone is pretty cool!
10. Vote, it's as simple as that. Vote and let the people be heard. IF and dear god if a certain person does win, I then know that this country is not ready and or willing to change for the better. We would be putting ourselves back several decades in several areas of progression that so many people fought for. We will be letting African Americans know that Black Lives DON'T Matter, we will be letting women know that they will continually be paid less than their male counterparts for doing the same work, we will be telling all immigrants that this is not the land of opportunity; because they won't be allowed in this country, we will be letting Muslims, citizens or not, that they are not wanted here and seen as a threat to our countries security, to wrap up this thought; basically we would be telling everyone that isn't WHITE, MIDDLE CLASS to UPPER CLASS WHITE MALES, you DON'T MATTER at all!
In history they say the victory writes the version of history for the rest of the world to read. Well, in a few months we shall see which victory will write the version of history for the rest of the world to read. May it be a good version and not one that alienates a large population of this country we call home. (for now at least.)
Be kind and do your research...don't go into this election blind.
Here are just a few reasons I hate will not discuss politics with ANYONE:
1. People are set in their ways. I am not going to change your mind. You might bring up a good point about your bigoted candidate and yes, I will listen to your thoughts, but I am not going to even give it a second thought. I am not going to waste my time trying to tell you that this particular person is a serious threat to this country in so many ways. That's time I can spend doing something more important, like punching a wall.
2. I am not going to get into a pissing match about how horrible our current president is and what a bad job he has done in the last eight years. Guess what people...if you are given a bag full of shit to deal with, you deal with the bag full of shit as best you can and go from there. President Obama has done nothing but try his best to make this country stronger and better for everyone here. He has offered many people the opportunity to have affordable healthcare, and yes people, that is a socialist ideal: everyone having access to basic things, i.e. like health care, but that doesn't mean that he is a bad, bad man. If you think universal healthcare is bad, then you must also think that the programs that FDR put into place during WWII also place him in the bad, bad man category. Let it go already. Without "Obama Care" I wouldn't have access to the doctor's I need to manage to keep me from punching someone in the face, I also wouldn't have access to medicine that would also prevent me from doing the punching. See, he did good there!
3. If one more person brings up those damn emails!!!
4. If you are willing to vote for a man that has been able to insult pretty much all minorities/marginalized people in this country, then you are part of the problem, not the solution to "Make America Great, Again." Degrading people that have disabilities, calling people rapists, demonizing people for peacefully demonstrating at your rallies, (which, FYI, they have a constitutional right to do,) Provoking and in-sighting violence to your followers if you don't get your way...I can't even begin to have a coherent conversation with you.
5. Media people, stop poking the mother-fucking bear already! If you keep doing news stories about this man and the nonsense that he spits out of his mouth you are only giving him what he wants.
6. I just can't handle people trying to actually defend a man that is full of hate. Making America Great, starts with not being hateful towards others. Do you really think this presumptive candidate is going to improve race relations in this country? Honestly, do you really think this douche is going to make minorities feel safe and not like second class citizens? Come on, you know he wouldn't and couldn't do it, and there in lies the problem- you know he can't do it, but yet you are willing to vote for him. What does that say about your own opinion of minorities in this country, if you are willing to vote for a man that couldn't help to ease the racial turmoil (even just a tiny bit)? If you want to have a discussion about race, let's do it. IF you are expecting it not be uncomfortable, then get over yourself and deal with it. Race is a hard topic to talk about, because it is something that people of color deal with everyday of their lives. IF you don't see a problem in this country regarding race, open your damn eyes and look around you. You can cut the tension in the air with a knife.
7. A woman as president...what are you afraid of? That she will get hormonal and just go off on everyone? Are you afraid that she won't be able to handle the pressures of the job, because women are delicate flowers and only men can talk politics? Shit, I can talk circles around people about what this woman is capable of doing to actually make this country better. She has a track record...yeah remember her husband-he was president, oh and she is an attorney-she knows the laws and yeah that one big thing...she was the MFing Secretary of State and spent a vast majority of her time in that position learning and creating relationships with countries.
8. I said don't bring up those damn emails!!!
9. Come on...THE FIRST MAN ever in office- that alone is pretty cool!
10. Vote, it's as simple as that. Vote and let the people be heard. IF and dear god if a certain person does win, I then know that this country is not ready and or willing to change for the better. We would be putting ourselves back several decades in several areas of progression that so many people fought for. We will be letting African Americans know that Black Lives DON'T Matter, we will be letting women know that they will continually be paid less than their male counterparts for doing the same work, we will be telling all immigrants that this is not the land of opportunity; because they won't be allowed in this country, we will be letting Muslims, citizens or not, that they are not wanted here and seen as a threat to our countries security, to wrap up this thought; basically we would be telling everyone that isn't WHITE, MIDDLE CLASS to UPPER CLASS WHITE MALES, you DON'T MATTER at all!
In history they say the victory writes the version of history for the rest of the world to read. Well, in a few months we shall see which victory will write the version of history for the rest of the world to read. May it be a good version and not one that alienates a large population of this country we call home. (for now at least.)
Be kind and do your research...don't go into this election blind.
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
A part of me...
These are poems I found a few days ago that I wrote...gosh I would say about ten years ago or even longer than that. These mainly focus on my own identity as a biracial woman. I know what you're thinking..."She looks white.", well, actually I am biracial- mom is black and my father is white. I check both boxes on forms or for the longest time I was "other." Yeah, that can impact your life for awhile.
Burden on Me
So much for me to handle
I worry enough for the world;
I should be playing jacks and eating candy...
Instead, I am the spiritual up-lifter, smile maker to people who can't see me.
I give smiles, much needed boosts to morale, but still no one worries for me.
That's because the burden is on me.
Blackness
What it means to be black
Does this mean there is a certain walk, way of talk, style of hair?
Am I any different from my black sisters that have luscious lips and thick hips?
My blackness is questioned because I am not the color of coffee, mocha or dark chocolate, but the color of cream.
Eyes blue like the ocean;
I am not what I seem to be.
Untitled
Blue eyes, fair skin, curly hair, full lips, small hips, straight nose.
Seeking someone to love me for me.
Needs someone who can handle both halves of me as one.
Take me as a whole, not two pieces of a color wheel.
Will shower with affection if only given the chance.
No liars, cheats, need apply.
Looking for a genuine man who will take me for who I am.
Unearthly Behavior
What is one to do?
Walk away from what is happening?
Everyone chose to take pictures and stare.
Laughing and shouting, what they had always wanted to say;
"It's about time." one woman screamed.
"You're getting what you deserve!" others declared.
The forecast called for strong winds from the north,
Possibly causing some strange behavior;
Among Animals.
Momma Didn't Warn Me
Momma didn't warn me it would hurt this much.
Momma didn't tell me my eyes would dry up from the river of tears.
Momma didn't tell me to watch out for sharks.
Momma DID tell me to cry and move on.
Momma DID tell me that a diamond deserves another diamond to compliment the shine,
not a lump of coal posing in shiny clothes.
Be kind!
Burden on Me
So much for me to handle
I worry enough for the world;
I should be playing jacks and eating candy...
Instead, I am the spiritual up-lifter, smile maker to people who can't see me.
I give smiles, much needed boosts to morale, but still no one worries for me.
That's because the burden is on me.
Blackness
What it means to be black
Does this mean there is a certain walk, way of talk, style of hair?
Am I any different from my black sisters that have luscious lips and thick hips?
My blackness is questioned because I am not the color of coffee, mocha or dark chocolate, but the color of cream.
Eyes blue like the ocean;
I am not what I seem to be.
Untitled
Blue eyes, fair skin, curly hair, full lips, small hips, straight nose.
Seeking someone to love me for me.
Needs someone who can handle both halves of me as one.
Take me as a whole, not two pieces of a color wheel.
Will shower with affection if only given the chance.
No liars, cheats, need apply.
Looking for a genuine man who will take me for who I am.
Unearthly Behavior
What is one to do?
Walk away from what is happening?
Everyone chose to take pictures and stare.
Laughing and shouting, what they had always wanted to say;
"It's about time." one woman screamed.
"You're getting what you deserve!" others declared.
The forecast called for strong winds from the north,
Possibly causing some strange behavior;
Among Animals.
Momma Didn't Warn Me
Momma didn't warn me it would hurt this much.
Momma didn't tell me my eyes would dry up from the river of tears.
Momma didn't tell me to watch out for sharks.
Momma DID tell me to cry and move on.
Momma DID tell me that a diamond deserves another diamond to compliment the shine,
not a lump of coal posing in shiny clothes.
Be kind!
Thursday, June 16, 2016
CIA Father
My father has been there for me all my life, he is still there when I fall and helps me get back up when I need help. (Yes, people I know I am 34, but hell a girl still needs her father sometimes!)
So, in honor all Father's Day I am going to tell you what I know about my father. Let me preface this with: we have a running "joke" in our family that he is in the CIA...here are just a few examples of why we think this:
1. Never liked and still to this day does not like getting his picture taken. (could it be that other spies might see a picture of him on one of his four daughter's social media and identify him as an operative?)
2. He doesn't talk much about what he did after he served as a police officer in the Air Force during Vietnam...now this could just be shell shock or PTSD (which are no laughing matter, but we don't know much about his work after that.)
3. I never knew what he did for work as a child. He would get dressed in a suit and disappear till about five pm and then that was it. Never talked about his work with us or my mom. I would ask him all the time what he did for a living and he would change the subject. (Sly, right?)
4. While cleaning out a box of old pictures and clippings from when he was in Vietnam, ( I was making him a better scrapbook) I came across payments in the amount of 10 dollars a month to an organization that helped children of the war. He even had a picture of the little boy he was helping. But as I put everything in order by month...he missed ONE month! That little didn't make it according to my father, but in the paper work there was no update on that...so what really happened to this little?
5. My father has a nice collection of watches...I have never been allowed to touch or see these watches, which makes me believe there is something "special" about these watches. Do they make vaults open, do they scramble computers of other spies or is there a flash drive in one that can download secret documents on the fly? Who knows, all I know is they have to wound in a winding machine, and that could be the way he is able to get the information to his head CIA person.
6. My mom has no idea what he did while he was stationed overseas, I think the Philippines for some time. This was before me, but, she is in the dark about that whole time. When asked about it, he again changes the subject. (he is really good at this!)
7. My dad has not and probably will never set up his voicemail on his phone...is this so no one hears his voice?
8. My father has no social media at all...he is a ghost on the internet. (yeah I just did a search and nothing!) You explain that one to me...most people have at least one hit when searched. He's got NOTHING!
9. My father does not leave the house unless he really has to. That means all the covert stuff must be going down in the house, and since its just him and three dogs, he knows they are going to say anything.
10. He is going on a trip next week, and when I asked where, he giggled and said, "somewhere near Destin FL." Really? "Florida" is that really where you are going?" More chuckling and he clears it up by saying the AFB that is in FL...you want me to believe you know?
He is a man of few words and apparently a man of international mystery as well. Though, to prove he wasn't in the CIA- he did send me his entire viate': HELLO, if you were in the CIA, this obviously will omit the fact that you are in the CIA...can't be a reliable source!
With that being said, Happy Father's day to the Fathers out there and to the ones that are no longer with you. Also, a big shout out to the mom's that are holding it down doing both roles!
Be kind.
So, in honor all Father's Day I am going to tell you what I know about my father. Let me preface this with: we have a running "joke" in our family that he is in the CIA...here are just a few examples of why we think this:
1. Never liked and still to this day does not like getting his picture taken. (could it be that other spies might see a picture of him on one of his four daughter's social media and identify him as an operative?)
2. He doesn't talk much about what he did after he served as a police officer in the Air Force during Vietnam...now this could just be shell shock or PTSD (which are no laughing matter, but we don't know much about his work after that.)
3. I never knew what he did for work as a child. He would get dressed in a suit and disappear till about five pm and then that was it. Never talked about his work with us or my mom. I would ask him all the time what he did for a living and he would change the subject. (Sly, right?)
4. While cleaning out a box of old pictures and clippings from when he was in Vietnam, ( I was making him a better scrapbook) I came across payments in the amount of 10 dollars a month to an organization that helped children of the war. He even had a picture of the little boy he was helping. But as I put everything in order by month...he missed ONE month! That little didn't make it according to my father, but in the paper work there was no update on that...so what really happened to this little?
5. My father has a nice collection of watches...I have never been allowed to touch or see these watches, which makes me believe there is something "special" about these watches. Do they make vaults open, do they scramble computers of other spies or is there a flash drive in one that can download secret documents on the fly? Who knows, all I know is they have to wound in a winding machine, and that could be the way he is able to get the information to his head CIA person.
6. My mom has no idea what he did while he was stationed overseas, I think the Philippines for some time. This was before me, but, she is in the dark about that whole time. When asked about it, he again changes the subject. (he is really good at this!)
7. My dad has not and probably will never set up his voicemail on his phone...is this so no one hears his voice?
8. My father has no social media at all...he is a ghost on the internet. (yeah I just did a search and nothing!) You explain that one to me...most people have at least one hit when searched. He's got NOTHING!
9. My father does not leave the house unless he really has to. That means all the covert stuff must be going down in the house, and since its just him and three dogs, he knows they are going to say anything.
10. He is going on a trip next week, and when I asked where, he giggled and said, "somewhere near Destin FL." Really? "Florida" is that really where you are going?" More chuckling and he clears it up by saying the AFB that is in FL...you want me to believe you know?
He is a man of few words and apparently a man of international mystery as well. Though, to prove he wasn't in the CIA- he did send me his entire viate': HELLO, if you were in the CIA, this obviously will omit the fact that you are in the CIA...can't be a reliable source!
With that being said, Happy Father's day to the Fathers out there and to the ones that are no longer with you. Also, a big shout out to the mom's that are holding it down doing both roles!
Be kind.
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Restraint
I talked about people being afraid of what is different yesterday, and today I saw it first hand sitting in the vet's office. Again, I have been wearing a tichel (head covering-eventually you will see the word and know what I mean.) since late October of last year. I live in a city that has a rather large community that cover for religious reasons, or whatever reason they have. So, again for me it is not something that I find strange or different. I also sure as hell don't stare at someone who is covered. I am more likely to comment how beautiful their covering is, or ask the doctor how he gets his pleats so perfect! I guess growing up in the military and being around so many types of people, gave me an appreciation for people and cultures that were different from me and my family.
I went with no makeup today, as I woke up with a slight headache and just didn't feel the need to today. But I pulled on my purple "unicorns are my spirit animal" t-shirt, light black cardigan, jeans and my trusty converse. I pulled out my purple tichels (a pretty sparkly one I received a week ago from a another wrapper.) and did a basic regal wrap and added a black satin ribbon and then a felt flower clip I had made years ago- it also had a shade of purple on it. So I thought I looked pretty good, for not feeling 100%. Off to the vet we go...
Dog gets her shots, bloodwork, a dosage prescription for allergies and so on. (Yes, I am the one that has a dog with seasonal allergies, go figure.) As my husband and I are waiting for the bloodwork, a vet tech comes from the back and stands right in front of me and just stares at me. Now, I know I didn't have anything hanging out of my nose, or anything in my teeth, since I didn't smile at her...so what could she be looking at with such interest? She would look away, and then turn right back to me and stare harder at me and then at my husband and then back to me. I caught her several times doing this. Finally, I just looked at my husband and said I am going to take the dog to the car. As I got the dog in the car, it all just flooded over me...she was looking at me because I was different. I had something on my head that she didn't understand and why I was wearing. It wasn't a look of curiosity, it was a look of almost disdain for what I was wearing on my head. I haven't felt so upset over being the different looking person in so long, that this bothered me to the point that I had to leave the situation.
Alright, so here is the real reason I left the office...I left because this little woman was looking at me unwelcoming and two, I have a tendency to say things out loud that are not appropriate. I am not perfect and never claim to be, I am constantly evolving. I tend to just speak before my brain can catch up with my words. If I would have stayed in that office one minute longer, I would have asked her if she wanted to ask me something since she was looking at me so hard. "Do you want to take a picture so you can continue to stare after I leave?" or worse, I would have more than likely cursed at her. It took so much restraint not to do any of these things. I have come a long way-trust me on this. I have a low tolerance for people and their ignorance. With that being said, I took a moment and just walked away...a higher power pulled me away from the situation and gave me the restraint I needed to not say anything to this woman. My mouth was shut and my eyes were open to my surroundings and I knew that I did not need to be there any longer.
It takes a lot of restraint to be the bigger person when it comes to ignorance and hatred. I stepped up to the challenge this morning. This woman had several things working against her in the situation: I hadn't had breakfast-so I was Hangry, I had a slight headache-so I was grumpy, and I wanted coffee-so I could have attacked at any moment. I took the higher ground and walked out with the sun hitting my shimmery tichel and a happy dog wagging her little bobbed tail!
Just be kind...
I went with no makeup today, as I woke up with a slight headache and just didn't feel the need to today. But I pulled on my purple "unicorns are my spirit animal" t-shirt, light black cardigan, jeans and my trusty converse. I pulled out my purple tichels (a pretty sparkly one I received a week ago from a another wrapper.) and did a basic regal wrap and added a black satin ribbon and then a felt flower clip I had made years ago- it also had a shade of purple on it. So I thought I looked pretty good, for not feeling 100%. Off to the vet we go...
Dog gets her shots, bloodwork, a dosage prescription for allergies and so on. (Yes, I am the one that has a dog with seasonal allergies, go figure.) As my husband and I are waiting for the bloodwork, a vet tech comes from the back and stands right in front of me and just stares at me. Now, I know I didn't have anything hanging out of my nose, or anything in my teeth, since I didn't smile at her...so what could she be looking at with such interest? She would look away, and then turn right back to me and stare harder at me and then at my husband and then back to me. I caught her several times doing this. Finally, I just looked at my husband and said I am going to take the dog to the car. As I got the dog in the car, it all just flooded over me...she was looking at me because I was different. I had something on my head that she didn't understand and why I was wearing. It wasn't a look of curiosity, it was a look of almost disdain for what I was wearing on my head. I haven't felt so upset over being the different looking person in so long, that this bothered me to the point that I had to leave the situation.
Alright, so here is the real reason I left the office...I left because this little woman was looking at me unwelcoming and two, I have a tendency to say things out loud that are not appropriate. I am not perfect and never claim to be, I am constantly evolving. I tend to just speak before my brain can catch up with my words. If I would have stayed in that office one minute longer, I would have asked her if she wanted to ask me something since she was looking at me so hard. "Do you want to take a picture so you can continue to stare after I leave?" or worse, I would have more than likely cursed at her. It took so much restraint not to do any of these things. I have come a long way-trust me on this. I have a low tolerance for people and their ignorance. With that being said, I took a moment and just walked away...a higher power pulled me away from the situation and gave me the restraint I needed to not say anything to this woman. My mouth was shut and my eyes were open to my surroundings and I knew that I did not need to be there any longer.
It takes a lot of restraint to be the bigger person when it comes to ignorance and hatred. I stepped up to the challenge this morning. This woman had several things working against her in the situation: I hadn't had breakfast-so I was Hangry, I had a slight headache-so I was grumpy, and I wanted coffee-so I could have attacked at any moment. I took the higher ground and walked out with the sun hitting my shimmery tichel and a happy dog wagging her little bobbed tail!
Just be kind...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)