As a biracial woman growing up was not easy. My mother is black and my father is white. I also have a black sister and a Japanese sister along with my twin. Nice right? So when the family when out, we got stared at a lot. Looking back on it I think people were just trying to figure out how that was possible. I am not going to draw a diagram of my family, just trust me, they are my sisters and the two I call my parents are my parents. No adoption happened, its all biological. Being a military child had its perks. Growing up on a military base, everyone was different so we never got stared at or had rude things said to us. It was once we left the base we encountered that type of behavior.
Growing up after my parents retired from the military meant we attended the public schools in the area. This is when I first realized my family wasn't like others. The color of skin mattered to outsiders way more than it did in my world. Grade school in Illinois was the first place someone made fun of my hair because it was curly and a little frizzy, high school was the place where I got to play a nice balancing act. "she isn't white but she isn't black." Your identity is based on what color your skin is and that was hard to understand. I really never liked going places with just my mom outside of the base, I would get upset at people that stared in the small city we grew up in. When I was in high school, my mother would try to hold my hand in public and I would shy away from it. It wasn't till I got to college that I finally saw that I am beautiful the way God made me and my family is pretty cool. I till this day will hold my mother's hand whenever she reaches for it. I even grab hers too.
My parents implanted the mind set that we are all the same and color is nothing. Its the character you have, behind the beautiful shades of color you happen to have, that matters. In a way our parents taught us to be colored blind. Maybe that is why my middle sister adopted three children in the last year. She didn't see three white children, she saw three children that needed love and a home and she and her husband, along with their two children welcomed them into our family. We do not see color.
IN my classroom I would treat all my students the same. When they would find out that I was not white, it would blow their mind. They then started to see that I don't see color, its character and that is it. I am blinded to your hair, your race, your religion, political views, its about who you are as a human being. Guess what, we all share that in common and we can't be blinded by that. We all bleed the same color of deep red blood and we all breath the same air into our lungs. So I ask that today you walk blindly into the world and love people for their hearts not the color of their skin. If being blind is hard for you, it just means you have to practice. So go forth and be blind.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Reasons to Teach...
In honor of it being Teacher Appreciation Week I thought I would get my blog post completed early.
I watched my mother teach high school for close to 20 years. She was the teacher that most students thought was mean and gave it to them straight. NO sugar coating with Msgt. Hatley. I never thought I wanted to be a teacher till I was working on my Masters degree. I fell in love instantly. I think it has to happen that way for someone to truly want to teach and make a difference. No matter the age you teach, and if you really do love what you do, regardless of the petty school politics, cliques (and yes they exist), little pay for lots of work, the reasons to teach are too many to type out here, but I thought I would take a stab at a few.
1. A Hello in the hallway from your students can make your day.
2. Money is good but when you see student connect to what you are teaching, it's PRICELESS.
3. Your days are long, but rewarding.
4. You love the "bad" kids just as much as the "good" kids. (sometimes a little more)
5. No matter the age you teach, you are amazed at how the young mind thinks about things.
6. Its wonderful to see the light bulb finally light up when they get it.
7. You can't count on your fingers how many times they try to make you smile/laugh before November.
8. They become "your kids" and you won't let anyone talk bad about them.
9. You find yourself trying to figure out how to make a seating chart that will make your life easier on days your not feeling 100%.
10. Independent work days in class-complete silence!
11. (I teach high school so this works a little better) Sarcasm can break the ice on the first day of school.
12. Standing at the door before each hour and saying hello to each student that walks in.
13. Getting your OWN classroom.
14. You question why you got into the profession your first year (its rough) but then a student comes back after they graduate and says thank you.
15. You truly love planting a seed of knowledge in their brains-even if they pretend they aren't listening.
I am not in the classroom at the moment and won't be while I am working on my Phd, but I can tell you I miss every second of it. I wouldn't want to do anything else in the world but teach. It takes special people to be teachers and I know a few teachers that love their jobs and go into work everyday thankful they get to do what they love. They love it because its not just a job, its their passion. My mother and father always told me and my sisters do something you are passionate about and you will be happy. I have never been more happier than when I would hear down the hall, "Hello, Ms. Hatley." It's like music to my ears. So think of a teacher that has touched your life and say a little thank you to them before you end the week. And teacher friends I have out there: keep doing what you'are doing even though its hard, you are making a difference I promise. I didn't think I was until I was no longer in the classroom. Be kind tomorrow and have a great weekend. What a great way to finish the week-thanking teachers and mothers!
I watched my mother teach high school for close to 20 years. She was the teacher that most students thought was mean and gave it to them straight. NO sugar coating with Msgt. Hatley. I never thought I wanted to be a teacher till I was working on my Masters degree. I fell in love instantly. I think it has to happen that way for someone to truly want to teach and make a difference. No matter the age you teach, and if you really do love what you do, regardless of the petty school politics, cliques (and yes they exist), little pay for lots of work, the reasons to teach are too many to type out here, but I thought I would take a stab at a few.
1. A Hello in the hallway from your students can make your day.
2. Money is good but when you see student connect to what you are teaching, it's PRICELESS.
3. Your days are long, but rewarding.
4. You love the "bad" kids just as much as the "good" kids. (sometimes a little more)
5. No matter the age you teach, you are amazed at how the young mind thinks about things.
6. Its wonderful to see the light bulb finally light up when they get it.
7. You can't count on your fingers how many times they try to make you smile/laugh before November.
8. They become "your kids" and you won't let anyone talk bad about them.
9. You find yourself trying to figure out how to make a seating chart that will make your life easier on days your not feeling 100%.
10. Independent work days in class-complete silence!
11. (I teach high school so this works a little better) Sarcasm can break the ice on the first day of school.
12. Standing at the door before each hour and saying hello to each student that walks in.
13. Getting your OWN classroom.
14. You question why you got into the profession your first year (its rough) but then a student comes back after they graduate and says thank you.
15. You truly love planting a seed of knowledge in their brains-even if they pretend they aren't listening.
I am not in the classroom at the moment and won't be while I am working on my Phd, but I can tell you I miss every second of it. I wouldn't want to do anything else in the world but teach. It takes special people to be teachers and I know a few teachers that love their jobs and go into work everyday thankful they get to do what they love. They love it because its not just a job, its their passion. My mother and father always told me and my sisters do something you are passionate about and you will be happy. I have never been more happier than when I would hear down the hall, "Hello, Ms. Hatley." It's like music to my ears. So think of a teacher that has touched your life and say a little thank you to them before you end the week. And teacher friends I have out there: keep doing what you'are doing even though its hard, you are making a difference I promise. I didn't think I was until I was no longer in the classroom. Be kind tomorrow and have a great weekend. What a great way to finish the week-thanking teachers and mothers!
Sweet somethings
This one is going to be short and sweet, because I think I am going back to bed. Super tired today.
All I ask is that today you tell your children, husband, wife, mother, father, sister or anyone important in your life just how much you love them. IF they are close by reach out to them and hug them. My father hugged me for the first time two weeks ago, something he hadn't done since I can't even remember. It went straight to my heart. Hugging is something that can comfort the person that is doubtful of their worth in immeasurable ways. So again, all I ask of you today, just tell the people you care about how much you care for them. Whether it be a card, a hug or just whisper to them before bed a little sweet nothing, that can mean more than you will ever know. They are not nothings... they somethings that can put your loved one at ease and it not only will strengthen the bond you have with them, but it is something they can pass on to a person they care for. Be kind today and love the ones you have around you.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Vexations
A friend sent me something to read yesterday, that was wonderful and put a thought into my mind. The statement is long, but there was a part a bout "avoiding aggressive people..." They are "vexations" to the spirit. I read this and thought this is completely contradictory to what many people teach their children or tell themselves about the way they should be in life. Being aggressive is a trait that many value. I used was taught that if you want something you have to go get it. Being aggressive has helped me but it has also hurt me. What my friend sent me hit a cord with me, especially this one small part. I avoid almost ALL people, when I should be avoiding the AGGRESSIVE people. Those are the people that have been trouble in my life and created a hole in the space where my tolerance for people lays. the definition of vexation: the state of being annoyed, frustrated, or worried.
Think about it...the AGGRESSIVE people you know in your life, or even if you consider yourself aggressive- how do many people react to you? Now I am not saying being aggressive is wrong, but to be engulfed in it it makes your spirit heavy and can do the same for the spirit of others. I know that being aggressive brings a drive... I would consider myself very driven, but that does not mean I have to be aggressive. I have decided that it is better to be less aggressive to ease my mind and the minds of those around me. Its less stress and easier on the spirit. In our society we teach our children that the more aggressive you are in life the happier you will be, because you have worked hard for it.We unfortunately live in a world that aggressiveness is awarded and the people that have chosen a different path are labeled weak or not driven. Being aggressive in life is hard work. I almost lost myself in how aggressively I was seeking people's approval that I had to just walk away. (well, they sort of made me walk away-but in hind sight I am happier for it.) Just be a happy balance of aggressive and amiable and you should be ok. And no this does not mean don't be driven and try to get everyone to like you, its more about you and how you feel at the end of the day. If you can smile as you fall asleep at night then you've got it! So go forth and spread joy and kindness and that, one day will be rewarded, promise!
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
What my momma did tell me...
My mother is my role model. There are a lot of things that my momma hasn't told me yet, but she does give life lessons daily if you are interested... I think they start at 8 am and continue till 9 pm. But here is a short list of what my momma DID teach me about life:
1. Sometimes you that to lie a little to get what you want-the benefit outweighs the lie.
2. IF you dance on a table wear pants- a dress is just tacky.
3. Never, never leave the hour without earrings or some bling-even if going on a sweaty walk around the block.
4. Eat what you love.
5. Laugh loud and often-especially with family and friends.
6. When you hit 60 you can be as cranky as you want to be.
7. When you hit 50 you can start passing gas in public and not excuse yourself.
8. Being in love and loving someone are completely different.
9. If momma's child is happy, then momma is happy.
10. Never drink too much blueberry wine- it leads to memory loss.
11. #10 can also lead to getting your foot caught in the sheet and you falling into out of the bed and into the closet door.
12. Vacuum early in the morning before everyone gets up=best alarm ever!
13. If you can't put the outfit on/take it off without assistance don't wear it.
14. Momma is always going to be there for you no matter what!
15. IF momma needs to she will yell "PIMP DOWN," to distract people so you can get away.
My momma is a great lady and she tells it like it is. She doesn't hold back and those life lessons she gives actually do imprint on my mind and have made me the woman I am today. Mother's day is around the corner and in honor of all the mommas alive and who have passed, just remember as a woman we are mini versions of what our mothers taught us...and that is some powerful stuff. We are strong women because of the struggles they went through to give us the life we had growing up.
Be kind to people today.
1. Sometimes you that to lie a little to get what you want-the benefit outweighs the lie.
2. IF you dance on a table wear pants- a dress is just tacky.
3. Never, never leave the hour without earrings or some bling-even if going on a sweaty walk around the block.
4. Eat what you love.
5. Laugh loud and often-especially with family and friends.
6. When you hit 60 you can be as cranky as you want to be.
7. When you hit 50 you can start passing gas in public and not excuse yourself.
8. Being in love and loving someone are completely different.
9. If momma's child is happy, then momma is happy.
10. Never drink too much blueberry wine- it leads to memory loss.
11. #10 can also lead to getting your foot caught in the sheet and you falling into out of the bed and into the closet door.
12. Vacuum early in the morning before everyone gets up=best alarm ever!
13. If you can't put the outfit on/take it off without assistance don't wear it.
14. Momma is always going to be there for you no matter what!
15. IF momma needs to she will yell "PIMP DOWN," to distract people so you can get away.
My momma is a great lady and she tells it like it is. She doesn't hold back and those life lessons she gives actually do imprint on my mind and have made me the woman I am today. Mother's day is around the corner and in honor of all the mommas alive and who have passed, just remember as a woman we are mini versions of what our mothers taught us...and that is some powerful stuff. We are strong women because of the struggles they went through to give us the life we had growing up.
Be kind to people today.
Monday, May 5, 2014
Transformation
I have been trying to lose weight, one of the great side effects of the medicine I am taking. (YEAH!) The motivation to goes back and forth between: I want to be super lazy and Damn I better get this done or I am going to have more problems. The past two weeks have been the latter, which I am grateful for. I am determined to stay positive no matter what. Life could be worse right? Having to lose a few pounds isn't as bad as it seems. I get to watch a half hour of My Name Is Earl, while I am on the treadmill/elliptical and lifting weights so its not too bad. I start my day with my workout and then my daily thoughts. Transformations are slow but they are worth it. I may curse a lot when working out, but I am screaming at the fat girl inside of me and telling her to vacate as soon as possible. Stay motivated and be kind to people today.
Saturday, May 3, 2014
Lilac
I am blessed that I live in a place that affords me the opportunity to cut fresh lilac from the bushes by my house. That might be a silly statement to make, but for me it is a big statement. It is BIG because a year ago I would not have wanted to cut lilac from the yard, I would not have wanted to create a nice outdoors sitting area with my SO and enjoy eating dinner outside. I am blessed that I am in a better place now and am continuing to become better. I am growing and have enjoyed moments to learn new things about myself. So I cut my lilac and smile. Enjoy the beauty this life has to offer, even if its as small as a bunch a lilac twigs in jar on your dinning room table. Be kind to people.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)