Nothing

Sitting on my deck yesterday with the sun shining and a slight breeze I sat there and did NOTHING. It was the most relaxing thing ever. I just say there in silence and watched and listened to nature. I finally say my hummingbird I have been waiting for-due to the silence I was practicing. And that brings me to my point of the day, if you have NOTHING to say stay silent. If you just want to say something because that is what is expected of you try keeping your mouth shut and say NOTHING. In this society we are taught to have "small talk" with people, but in my mind its pointless and truly uncomfortable for me. I start a conversation and then it just stops and I feel awkward since I really have NOTHING to say to this person standing in front of me. I would rather say nothing, there will be days when my SO would be at work and I wouldn't say one word till he got home. I don't mind not talking its easy to do. My profession required me to talk for 8 hours a day, so not having to say anything is a blessing to me. Please don't take it as an insult if I don't talk to you, its just easier for me and my anxiety to say nothing. I have been working on it, but it still creeps up and I just say NOTHING.