Finish Line

Sometimes it is hard to hear what loved ones are saying to you. It might come out wrong but their heart is in the right place. Sometimes being harsh is the only way we will listen to what they are actually saying to us. So  I heard it loud and clear yesterday. I don't want to be crippled with fear being around large groups of people, I don't want to be this person that would rather sit on the couch or be in bed. I have been making progress but its slow. I just finished my morning walk and it has given me clarity on the situation, its not good and I need to change it or it will cost me way more than my loved ones. I need to work harder at getting back to me. That means cutting the bullshit and getting down to business. NO more excuses, its time to get tough and prepare to take my life back even more than I already have. See the thing about drastic change when your not ready is that it takes a toll on  your ego and when the ego has been beaten up it can change you for the worse. When you think your doing good things, its because your ego is allowing you to think you are doing good, when in reality its pretty shitty. I am pushing my ego aside now and welcoming the inner strength I have been so desperately been grasping for over the last year and a half. Now is the time to work more on me and no one else's problems. Worrying about what people will say or how they will view me, well that moment passed yesterday for me. I have realized that this trip is going to be slow, but I am ready to take this walk and get to the finish line regardless of how long it takes me!